Conan the Barbarian (2011)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0816462/ 

Barbaric action at its finest! Conan’s quest of vengeance sees him face (and ultimately overcome) countless sticky situations, including elements borrowed from fantasy, sci-fi and adventure classics.  Dialogue is at a minimum and action at a ferocious and brutal maximum, served with plentiful swordplay, bloodsplatter and battles roars. Also: phwoar!

Four stars

30 Minutes Or Less (2011)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1622547/

Jesse Eisenberg and his sidekick bumble from one far-fetched spectacle to the next in an attempt to appease some (completely implausible) bad guys before they blow him up.  Disappointingly unfunny and missing the sense of urgency required by a ‘deadline’ movie, rendering the preposterous antics just plain ridiculous.

Two stars

Crazy, Stupid, Love. (2011)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1570728/

With its cracking cast I’d hoped this might be funny enough to forgive its romantic foundations.  Unfortunately it fails to raise itself above the soppy quagmire of ten-a-penny romcoms.  The numerous semi-related ‘love’ stories are clumsily interlinked and the three-star humour can’t prevent the movie drowning in its own slush.

Two stars

Stake Land (2010)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1464580/

Zombie vampires versus mean vamp slayer and his young apprentice – great premise and great movie.  Reminiscent of Zombieland in parts but more serious and less goofy.  Scary vamps, scarier human baddies, and some really affecting moments between the survivors as they struggle to stay alive and stay together.

Four stars

The Perfect Host (2010)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1334553/

Quirky cult piece starring Niles from Frasier as a friendly but psychotic dinner party host. This simple but effective concept is elegantly executed for the most part, with sympathies wavering between host and guest.  However, a disappointing ‘reveal’ and hurried final act mean the film falls short of excellence.

Three stars

Zookeeper (2011)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1222817/

An entirely unentertaining and unfunny attempt at comedy.  With no redeeming features, I need way less than fifty words to tell you that this film is a complete crock of shit.

One star

Defendor (2009)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1303828/ 

Despite the film’s dark undertones the gentle naivety of the wannabe superhero protagonist keeps the overall mood light and very funny.  It’s farcical in parts, has some interesting attempts at moral discussion, and a fantastically tangible performance from Woody Harrelson. Another one not for those averse to dark comedy though.

Four stars

Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1302011/

Although not as captivating as its predecessor, this is another triumph for Po and his gang.  As with KFP1 it has a lovely traditional story arc (Po is vanquishing baddies and discovering himself all at the same time!), sophisticated fight scenes, and seamless animation.  Lovely stuff.

Four stars

Submarine (2010)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1440292/ 

Disappointingly, Ayoade’s first offering certainly didn’t meet expectations.  Teetering on the edge of self-indulgent pretention, it transparently attempts to elicit a full spectrum of emotions.  It succeeds in parts (certainly plenty of it is very miserable), and fails in others, mostly due to a lack of much-needed subtlety.

Three stars